What about when both people in the relationship suffer from the same thing. Both partners have a personality disorder or bipolar disorder or both partners have both disorders. Are they doomed.
My husband and I have extremely similar back rounds. Physically, emotionally and sexually abused by our mothers. My husband was also sexually abused by his biological father and I was by my step father as well as, four other men. We both witnessed our mothers being beaten by men. We also saw our siblings and friends being beaten. We used and sold and abused all kinds of drugs most of our lives and so did our parents. We met in a self help program where we both worked hard on ourselves and improved greatly. I think we got into relationship too soon but not as soon as some. Kevin had 9 months clean and I had one year clean we started seeing each other. I had two and a half years and Kev had two years when we relapsed on cocaine, heroin and meth. Prior to our relapse he had been seeing a psychologist for a year. I had done two years of behavioral modification. He has been diagnosed personality disorder. I had been diagnosed bipolar. I truly think we both have both disorders. I hear it's rare but still possible. I would like to learn more.
Prior to relapsing I could not make Kevin angry and visa versa. Now days we both get angry easily. Him more than me. Twice now our fights got physical. His showing me he is the man and still blaming me. I actually fight back! It's crazy. We need therapy again. I can truly see the emotional pain on his face when he hurts me. Not physically. He just does something hurtful not thinking being self centered and I am hurt emotionally. The pain that it actually causes him is so intense and sad, but denial always kicks in and he starts crying because he convinces himself that it was me that hurt him.
We are married and in love and need help. We both want the partner we had in the beginning. Please help.
Sincerely,
Brenda
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It might be best to support each other to stay focused completely on staying clean and sober.
After years of drug and alcohol abuse, pretty much anyone would be diagnosed as either of the two conditions you mention.
And as you have discovered re-lapse can make the same symptoms even more exaggerated.